I'm Basically A T-Rex

And it’s not just me! All mothers are just shrunken down versions of one of the most incredible dinosaurs to ever live!

For example, my “mom-ears” are so perfectly tuned to childhood mischief that when I hear my two preschoolers stop chattering in their play, I drop everything and race to their last known location. There is nothing scarier than silence from kids who are supposedly playing! (I know I’m not the only parent who has been amazed at what kids can get into during four seconds of silent “play.”) Similarly, Tyrannosaurus Rex’s hearing was so impressive that some scientists think the giant dinosaurs avoided roaring because the loud sound would have literally damaged their ears!

Also, T. Rex and I both have about 200 bones.

T. Rex and I frequently eat “on the run” and standing up.

We both see everything. My children are all sorts of clever, but they haven’t figured this out yet. Last week I was on our porch with my 4-year old. She went inside and returned with four bowls, each filled with a different food item. “Mom,” she said quickly, “don’t notice what I have!” But I always notice! I see your contraband picnic. And I see your sister hiding a fork in the freezer so she can sneak ice-cream. And I see your brother hiding your dad’s shoe. And I see you bringing paint into the bathtub. T. Rex may not have had to watch out for paint (or shoes), but with those forward-facing, color and UV-detecting, bigger-than-my-fist eyeballs, I guarantee she saw everything too.

T. Rex and I both have arms that are too short. The poor thing could literally not even use her hands (erm...claws?) to put food in her mouth because they just would not reach right! I have been similarly frustrated as I have watched my toddlers help themselves to a drink and I just could. not. reach. them. in. time.  

T. Rex and I both have to slow down sometimes because it’s so easy to run ourselves into the ground. It must have been so frustrating to have had towering 11-foot tall legs with muscles bigger than tree trunks, but be unable to really run on them because you were carting around more than 13,000 pounds. Scientists think that Tyrannosaurus Rex spent most of her time walking because a hard fall at high speeds with all that weight would have killed her! I stay up late a lot these days (what mother doesn’t love the quiet of the nightime house?!), but I don’t really sleep in. I juggle a lot of balls, and I’m wondering if maybe setting some of them down might be like T. Rex deciding not to run through the forest. Maybe gently resting a few balls on a shelf every once in a while would be better than a crash landing that breaks most of them. Maybe…

Finally, T. Rex and I are both intense mothers. The fossil record hasn’t really told us anything about T. Rex’s parenting habits, but if she’s anything like her modern bird and crocodilian relatives, she would have used her 10-inch long teeth, 6-inch long claws, and keen senses to protect her eggs. I might be tired (it’s a bit later than 1:15 now…) and have a crazy sense of humor, but I am doing everything I can to keep my babies safe and help them be smart, contributing members of our culture. And if that means staying up all night to watch a fever, sprinting along a bike with its training wheels pulled off, cleaning puke out of a favorite outfit, tackling hard conversations, learning a new skill just so I can teach it, or letting them fall so they can learn how to get back up again, well… darn it, that’s just what’s going to happen! You cannot blame a T. Rex for being intense!

See that?

I am a mother. Which means, I am also a T. Rex.